Sir Alex Poem
(based on a true story)
Jogging down the street
On a balmy Thursday night
I passed a group of girls
And gave them such a fright
The blonde one screamed, “Oh God!”
And the brunette hit the ground
Her eyes went to my cycling shorts
And this is what they found
(Chorus x 2)
Oh, dangle balls, dangle balls
Peeking out my clothes
They got hot and out they popped
Now everybody knows
I thought it was a fluke
And damn near died of shame
So imagine my surprise
When it happened once again
While on a dirt bike ride
Near a pretty nasty turn
My seat popped up and hit my butt
And then I felt the burn
(Chorus x2)
The next time I jogged out
With new gear all procured
I had new Y-fronts on
To keep my balls secured
At twenty kms in
A lady gave a shout
It scared me half to death and then
The bloody things fell out
(Chorus x 2)
The word it soon got out
All around the town
And everywhere I went
I felt like such a clown
My mates they took the piss
I was a laughing stock
The only thing that could be worse
Was if it was my cock
(Chorus x 2)
The priest he had a word
Though the holy Bible say
Please contain your balls
And keep them tucked away
So I came up with a plan
On which I can rely
The next time I go jogging
I will strap them to my thigh
